Friday Football Foodie – French Onion Dip and the wonders of Green Tea Ginger Ale

She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts.

It feels like a million years since the last Steelers game.  Maybe even two million years.  And now after suffering through a bye week, we have to wait until Monday Night Football (Hooray Drunk Gruden!) for meaningful Pittsburgh football.  (Sorry Pitt-Syracuse, but the Orangemen’s 3-5 record does not make for compelling Big East football, if there is such a thing.)

I feel like I should be more worried about this game, and believe me I am plenty worried, but there just seems something so shallow about this 7-1 Broncos team.  Maybe I still do not believe Kyle Orton is anything but the guy who completely fell apart during a rainy Super Bowl XLI.  Maybe I’m not convinced that Josh McDaniels knows how to call more than three or four variations of the same play.  Maybe it’s because the Ravens beat them so soundly last weekend.  (Although now I am worried that the Ravens smackdown will give Denver extra motivation against the Steelers.)  My friend Colin has been trying to get me into some back and forth smack talk on Twitter this week leading up to the game, but I haven’t been really taking the bait.  Why?  While I am not worried-worried about the game, I am worried enough that I don’t want to jinx it.

This week’s Friday Football Foodie is French Onion Dip.  Oh sure, you can just take the packet of Lipton’s French Onion Soup, stir it into a 16 oz container of sour cream and call it a day. It’s not a bad dip, but it sure as hell is not a good one either.  (Also, because the Lipton dip is rather salty, you keep kind of going back for more and more and more and more and more AND OH MY GOD SARAH WILL STEP AWAY FROM THE DIP ALREADY!  THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE AT THIS HALLOWEEN PARTY.)

Making French Onion Dip from scratch allows the natural sweetness of the onion to come through, and pairs much better with vegetables.  This is also another one you want to make at least a day ahead of time to give all the flavors a chance to open up and develop.

You will need…

Pens – Ducks: As always, you know where to stick your “Crosby sucks” chant.

Ducks fans should be embarrassed I was able to get seats this close to the ice just hours before game time... AT THE BOX OFFICE.

Breathless.  Tyler Kennedy can fly.  Hiller heard me when I yelled, “It’s all your fault, Hiller!” after the fourth Penguin’s goal.  Guy next to me claimed to be friends with Talbot and was texting with him during the game.  Felt like there were more Pens fans at the Pond — sorry, Honda Center — than there were Ducks fans.

No sense in a recap.  One, you already know the score.  Two, you’ve probably already watched and rewatched and then watched again just to make sure you really saw what you saw when Fleury and then Crosby had the saves of the season (so far) at the end of the third period.  Three, The Pens Blog is where you go for recaps, not B&GT.

 

But if you want to check out the pics I took at the game, feel free to check out my flickr set.

Let’s hope undefeated on the road holds through the Kings game on Thursday.

Friday Football Foodie – Brunch Edition Monster Mashup: Breakfast Enchiladas, Cherry-Streusel Coffee Cake, Phillips Head Screwdrivers and Pumpkin Spice Liqueur

Hearty Breakfast Enchilads to get you through a long day of football, or at least through your 10am games hangover.

Monster Mashup Day at Friday Football Foodie!  Vegas gave me a week of extra material, so instead of letting these sit around the archives getting stale, two-for-one recipe day for football brunches!  Plus, two recipes for means me having to type out fewer instructions! Go me!

Long time Friday Football Foodie readers know that I love the football brunch. NFL games start at 10 am!  College games at 9 am!  Premier League starts at… Fuck it! You’re probably still drunk from the night before for a 5:45 am start.  And full of In-N-Out!  Or House of Pies!  Or Fred 62!  Or Cafe 101!  Or Del Taco! Better yet, let’s go to a taco truck!  WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

You get the idea.

So like any good brunch, pre-game planning is the key.  In the past I’ve made Friday Football Foodie quiches, stratas, baked French toast and pear tarts.  What do they have in common with Breakfast Enchiladas and Cherry-Streusel Coffee Cake?  You have to make them the night before.  Sunday morning before a 10 am game, you want to wake up at 9 am at the earliest.  Maybe 9:30 if you need a shower. 9:50 if you still need to make fantasy football moves.  8 am? Forget it.  Did I not mention the 2 am taco truck visit?  The cake can be baked the night before, and the enchiladas need to rest before baking morning of the game.

See those those things in there? Those are cherries. Don't let anyone tell you you didn't eay anything healthy while watching football.

As always, you will need…

Friday Football Foodie – Buffalo Chicken Meatballs and Black Russians

Buffalo Chicken Meatballs. Cheese free if you skip the dipping portion, you goddamn hippie.

HEYS GUYS!  Did you hear?!?!  There is a some sort of sports blogging brouhaha going on out there!  Get the hell out you say? Sarah, are you talking about what everyone else is talking about this week?  Deadspin vs ESPN? No, how about Bleacher Report contributors ripping off stories left and right?  No, not that either?  Well about about various opinions on The Big Lead?  No! Not even that?  Then what the hell, lady?

Spencer Hall, a.k.a. Orson Swindle, does not like cheese.

No, I’m not fucking with you.  Does.  Not.  Like.  Cheese.  Thinks it’s stinky.

I was going to write this post (and a second bonus Friday Football Brunch Foodie post today or tomorrow) comparing the current sports blogging garment to the Anthony Bourdain verses Rachel Ray blog fights, but guess what? They like each other now!  Something about a fruit basket,  and Bourdain getting old and not being mad any more, which means he’s going to be like Sting post “Dream of the Blue Turtles” as he mellows out even further.  But my heart wasn’t into the comparison, and quite frankly, too many other people are talking about those blog discussions, so I figured I’d just start a fight of my own just to keep things fresh.  So I say it again:

SPENCER HALL DOES NOT LIKE CHEESE. HE TOLD ME SO.  IT IS COMPLETELY VETTED.

Now, this makes sense for a college football fan.  College football involves a lot of tailgating, drinking cheap beer and teenage boys, none of which are conducive to cheese.  You’re not going to serve a nice juicy, well-grilled burger with Cotswold with one hand and pump Natty Light out of a keg with the other hand, surrounded by kids who haven’t showered since Thursday before their Business Ethics 301 class.  At the TKE house, do you think they care about watching the game and serving a nice Mexican Fondue, a Hot Pizza Dip,  or a Four Cheese and Roasted Red Pepper Quiche? No, they heat up a can of Trader Joe’s Chili and dump leftover Chili Cheese (which do not in anyway taste cheesy) Fritos into a bowl, then serve it with Popov that may or may not have a cigarette butt floating in it from the night before.  No, no I do not believe Auburn fans would enjoy crostini with their football.

But everyone grows up sometime, Mr. Hall.  Palates change and mature, allowing us to enjoy all that is wonderful with cheese. Growing up and watching the NFL also allows us to watch football without having to get into discussions about scholarships and boosters, from hanging with kids who do not know how to drink without ralphing on their shoes, (another reason to stay away from cheese at a college football game I guess), and knowing I can enjoy watching a team be a team without worring about what the next recruiting class looks like. I want to just watch football and eat.  It does not get more sublime for a football fan than that.

So until you join us at the grown-ups table Spencer, I give you this Rachel Ray recipe for Buffalo Chicken Meatballs. No cheese involved, unless you want it to be. It’s cheap to make, so even a college kid – or a fan of teenagers – can make it any time.  In fact, you’ll save some more coin for your next game of quarters if you skip the cheese all together.

Did I find it as good as the Buffalo Chicken Dip of 2007?  No, I did not.  Why? Because it was not covered in cheese.   Your loss I suppose, cheese hater.

You will need…

CSS Hell

Yes, I know it’s broken.  Working on it.  Have no idea what happened here.

Quick review of BWB 2.0 Las Vegas, FFF checks out Lagasse’s Stadium

Chili Cheese Fries, plain Game Day Nachos, and Game Day Nachos with Pulled Pork at Lagesse's Stadium, located in The Palazzo, Las Vegas.

Woo boy, where to start.

Well, a big congrats to the crew at HHR Media Group for putting together a great set of panels for the “Blogs With Balls 2.0” in Las Vegas this past weekend.  No, I’m not entirely comfortable with the name and refer to it as BwB, just so it can be more inclusive, like “Blogs with Boobs” or something. Considering the amount of cheesecake photos that appear on sports sites to help drive traffic, it is not an unreasonable name. (More on this later.)

(If you find this all a bit too navel-gazily for your tastes, feel free to skip down to the bottom for the food review. No judgment.)

Getting Ziggy With It

I really cannot express how much I want a “Getting Ziggy With It” fan song to come out this season for defensive end Ziggy Hood.

Since you Garage Band junkies have yet to get back into the studio, let me point you in the direction of Cotter’s interview with Ziggy himself over at One for the Other Thumb for inspiration.

Na na na na na na na.

Friday Football Foodie – French Dip & Blood Orange Bourbon

Living in LA, you have to pick a "Home of the French Dip" allegiance, Team Phillipe's or Team Cole's.

Week Five.  Welcome to the dog days of the NFL season.  Maybe it’s because we’re getting into the bye weeks, maybe it’s the start of the hockey and basketball season, and maybe it’s because we’re enjoying post-season baseball (Kidding! Baseball never ends! Pitchers and catchers report in 177 days! Only 21 days after the World Series!), but for some reason I always struggle with October football.  September sets up the storylines for the season, November and Decemeber are the buildup to the playoffs.  October is the grunt work.  The foundation.  The grinding out game after game after game after exciting match-ups Cleveland-Buffalo and Philadelphia-Oakland and San Francisco-Houston and ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The good news is this is time of the year when the outside of the game stories become more interesting, because they could possibly influence how players play the game.  Braylon Edwards gets into a fight outside of a Cleveland night club with a friend of Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James and is promptly traded to the Jets.  Crabtree finally ends his hold out.  Some old guy plays against his former team.  (Larry Foote.) And of course the big story percolating just under the surface, the possibility of a player lockout in 2011.

Everyone’s favorite pro Twitter Chad Ochocinco sat in a NFL Players Association meeting earlier this week, and judging by his Tweets, the union is telling its players to start saving their pennies now.  While this is not new news, his reaction caused a little bit of stir with ESPN’s Adam Schefter and New York Times’ Judy Battista.

Schefter weighed in -

Friday Football Foodie – Ham and Cheese Pretzel Bites with Beer Floats!

Possibly one of my favorite Friday Football Foodies yet. Ham and Cheese Pretzel Bites with Jalapeño Honey Mustard.

Anyone who has followed the Friday Football Foodie over the last couple of years knows that I’m superstitious about having all our snacks and drinks ready to go for kickoff.  Something about my chi not being focused entirely on the game effecting the team chi (Steelers special teams can obviously be distracted by an undercooked pizza roll out there in the universe) and therefore increasing the odds of a loss.

Michael Tunison addresses this type of mental illness in his book, The Football Fan’s Manifesto.  (Which you should immediately run out and buy if you haven’t already done so.)  Tunison states:

“Once you discover your winning formula of OCD-esque ticks to perform before each game, you must never deviate from it.  Everything you do is part of a karmic and behavioral pattern that determines who wins on Sunday.  It’s your duty to your team to obsessively re-create the conditions of whatever happened during your team’s last win.  And not just on game day. It extends for the full week prior to game day.”

And thus explains why I wasn’t entirely happy with my pre-wedding weight-loss regime last fall.  Last season’s Hot Pizza Dip turned into the “lucky” game day food.  Bry would insist upon it almost every week, and despite its approximately 1500 calories per serving, I was powerless to resist it.  (Thank you mom for buying me a custom made wedding dress to accommodate me and the dip!)  After the wedding and going into the playoffs, we developed a “lucky” weekend routine. Friday, either the Bowery or Magnolia for burgers – depending on which had room at the bar, figuring the mojo was in the burger selection – and then racing into a movie at the Arclight, and Saturday night housemade sausages, Belgian fries and beers at Wurstküche.

By the Super Bowl, we could have been renamed Big Snack II and Big Snack III with our Casey Hampton-sized physiques.

Why do I bring this up?  Steelers have dropped two in a row.  Last week against the Bengals, the pretzel bites we’re still in the oven at kickoff.  (I woke up late, which DOES NOT WORK when you need to let dough rise multiple times.)  First strike.  The Football Fan’s Manifesto also states,

“The best solution is to just label other people in your personal life as bad luck.”

Our football-loving friend and house guest Jeremy was on the phone with our non-football loving friend Damon when the Bengals intercepted Roethlisberger and returned the ball for a touchdown.   Second strike, since Damon has been known to jinx sporting events before.   Third strike?  Just as the final seconds of the game ticked down and the Bengals were looking like they were not going to make the end zone – PLEASE HOLD ON FOR THE WIN! – Damon walked in our front door, sending my dog into a frenzy (Missy and Damon do not get along), and next thing I know I go to pull her away and WHAT??!? Wait?  Touchdown Cincinnati?!?  I DIDN’T EVEN SEE IT I WAS DISTRACTED BY DAMON, THE DOG AND MY CHI WAS ELSEWHERE WHAT HAVE WE DONE.  DISTRACTED AND DAMON?!?!? THAT’S LIKE SEVEN STRIKES AGAINST MY TEAM.

Or perhaps Limas Sweed should have not dropped the ball in the goddamn end zone.

This weeks Friday Football Foodie: Ham and Cheese Pretzel Bites with Beer Floats! You will need…

Original Friday Football Foodie – Crostini and Balalaika!

Options are good, but having too many choices often leads to confusion, overindulgence and playing in fantasy leagues with three active quarterbacks.

I don’t understand people who play in leagues with multiple active defenses, quarterbacks, four kickers and just for shits-and-giggles eight receivers.  Whenever I talk to fantasy players who have these kinds of – let’s face it – stupid leagues, I cannot help but picture two defenses on the field at the same time.  Say the obviously weaker Seattle defense as the first line, but then the Ravens D anchoring the rear.  Chaos would rule the field and soon a hole would open up (one would hope so with eight receivers, four running backs and three tight ends on offensive) for the somewhere, resulting in a game that would resemble the Italian Peninsula during World War II.

Crostini is the same way.  It’s too easy to decide you want to have five or six different types of crostini at your party, but next thing you know the kitchen is covered in toasted bread, you’ve run out of platters, why did you decide to have three heated variations for Christ’s sake the game starts in five minutes, and how much more chopping needs to happen?!?

Stick with a simple game plan.  One crostini that needs baked.  One that you can make the night before.   One that just involves chopping.  One with only two ingredients besides the bread.  And stick with a traditional fantasy football league.

You will need:

Football at our place on Sunday’s, a still life.

It's a shame the bottle of Stone (one of their speciality brews) did not come out. Steelers-Bears, Browns-Broncos.

For more photo notes, you can go here.

The NFL.com Blackout Rules Have Gone Too Far

How hacky would a "senior citizens in Florida and Arizona cannot work the internet" joke be right here? Pretty hacky. And lucky for you, Mr. Warner.

Return of the Original Friday Football Foodie – Mexican Fondue, Popcorn Bars and Five Points

Mexican Fondue, a nice variation of spinach artichoke dip. Consider it the wildcat formation of hot dips. Seen here with its buddy guacamole, aka Shotgun Dip.

Thank god for the first game of the season.

And not for the usual “WOOOOO FOOTBALL” reasons, although football might be the one topic you can debate where “WOOOOO” is a legitimate talking point.  (Let’s test this theory out.  Ahem.  “I believe health care reform is of great importance to small business owners, because in my experience even a basic managed care plan can be one the largest expenses – just behind payroll – for a company over the course of a year. WOOOOOOOOOO!”)

Two years ago when I posted the first Friday Football Foodie recipe for Pizza Loaf, I said this:

The pre-season. Supposedly “meaningless” games are spent trying to impress the coaches, shaking the rust off of the joints, and players doing their goddamn best not to get hurt.

Well do you think you, the football fan, are any different? Are you ready for at least one – if not two – days spent entirely on your sofa? After a summer’s harvest of nothing but the freshest fruits and vegetables are you ready to settle in and allow yourself the unhealthy snack foods that are best enjoyed with copious amounts of booze and yelling? Can you whip-up something besides the number for Domino’s, (GOD HELP ME DO NOT TELL ME YOU ORDER DOMINO’S), that will feed you and your crew?

Fast forward to my Twitter update earlier this week: (No Mom, you cannot have access to my Twitter feed.  Now please stop writing on my Facebook wall and go watch this nice video from The Onion about parents and social networking instead.)

What I learned this weekend: I thought I was ready for some football. Turns out, I was not ready for four days of football.

I was not ready.  Oh sure, I knew I could put together a game plan with little effort, but without practice my timing the food to be ready for kickoff was almost off.  Taking all the appropriate pictures for the FFF went completely out the window.  Having all ingredients ready beforehand?  Child please.  Not.  Ready.

Still, a win is a win.   The Steelers needed overtime to avoid a Super Bowl letdown.  The Pats and the Chargers needed until the final minutes of the game to overtake the Bills and Raiders.  I needed Week 1 to kick my ass to remind me that preparing football food takes planning.

This week – Mexican Fondue, Five Points cocktails, and POPCORN, YOU ARE POPCORN. DO NOT FORGET IT Bars.

You will need –

Clockwork Football

Don't let the uniform fool you, Palmer the Elder was not about to go anywhere near the playing field during the 38-7 Bengals win over the Colts.

Looking for excitement in the final NFL preseason games a lot like searching for a bikini contest in Tibet; you’ve got to really want it. With few exceptions, the starters and back-up players are all resting safely on the bench while twenty-odd remaining hopefuls on each side try to prove they have some roster worth in what amounts to an overblown scrimmage. Players don’t want to get hurt. Coaches don’t want to show the playbook. Only the hardest of hardcore football fans, the most degenerate of gamblers and people who just cannot find the remote can stomach a full preseason match-up.

Here’s what you missed while re-arranging your mini-helmet collection:

Bengals 38, Colts 7

After being set up by three solid runs by Cedric “Last Year Wasn’t a Fluke” Benson, backup QB J.T. Sullivan made an easy 14-yard hit up the middle to wide receiver Andre Cadwell on the Bengals first possession. The Colts Jim Sorgi made the most of his return (knowing he most likely won’t play again until January 3, 2010) after being out most of the preseason scoring on the next drive hitting receiver Taj Smith from 22-yards out.

Sam Swank, a kicker out of Wake Forest and not a Leisure Suit Larry character, drilled a 49-yard field goal during Cincinnati’s next possession, giving them the lead they would hold for the rest of the game under third-string quarterback Jordan Palmer.

The real excitement occurred late in the second when running back Brian Leonard got to showoff his trademark “Leonard Leap” by sailing completely over defensive back Travis Key.

Bengal WR Chris Henry added to his scoring streak with touchdown in early in the second quarter, and Leonard added extra insurance late in the half with a four-yard run into the end zone. Roster bubble player DeDe Dorsey blocked a punt and returned it seven yards for the touchdown in the third, and by the fourth quarter Chad OchoCinco had finished a draft of his final Tweet.

Sorgi finished the game 11 for 19 and 119 yards gained, but hit the turf enough times to warrent Peyton Manning-level of anger at the offensive line.

Taking them out to the Woodhead with 158 yards, 2 touchdowns.

Jets 38, Eagles 27

Michael Vick might have finally scored his first touchdown since being allowed back into the league on a quarterback run, but he also scrambled himself into four sacks, an interception, and two fumbles, throwing for just 7-11 for a paltry 26 yards passing.

The big story of the night was Jets fan-favorite Danny Woodhead running for 158 yards, including a 55-yard dash and a 31-yard return, and two touchdowns as he battled for a final roster spot. Rookie quarterback Matt Sanchez played for just the first series, going 5-5 and scoring on a 21-yard pass to Jerricho Cotchery before handing the reins over to backups Kellen Clemens (0-0, INT) and Erik Ainge (10-17, 160 yards, 2 TD).

Late in the fourth quarter, Philly QB A.J. Feeley (1-2, 3 yards) made the smallest whisper of a toss to Hank Baskett, probably marking the end of his days in the City of Brotherly Love.

Lions 17, Bills 6

Do you think if we all pretended this game never happened, flat-out denied its existence, the NFL would strike it from the record books? The only play that prevented me from gnawing off my own arm out of boredom was a fumble over the pylon at the end of the first half which could have either been a touchback for the Bills or a touchdown for the Lions if there had been more than two camera angles for the referees to look at. Fortunately for both my arm and the Lions, Jerome Felton’s run was ruled a touchdown as Detroit easily defeated the no-huddle, no-starters Bills.

Mr. Goodell, the regular season is long enough. Shorten the preseason already.

Reason number #251 coaches and players dislike a long preseason, as demonstrated here by Matthew Slater who would go out with a hyper-extended elbow.

Patriots 38, Giants 27

After giving up 21 points in the first quarter, including a Eli Manning to Sinorice Moss connection during the Giants first possession, the Patriots made a strong comeback under the guidance of undrafted rookie Brian Hoyer who played the entire game (In the preseason! Impossible!) and threw for 242 yards and one touchdown.

Broncos 19, Cardinals 0

Not to be outdone by the east coast rookies of Sanchez and Hoyer, rookie quarterback Tom Brandstater led the Bronces to score on four of their first five possessions against mostly Cardinal backups. Brandstater could start opening weekend if Kyle Orton and Chris Simms (finger injury and sprained ankle, respectively) do not heal in time for the Sunday opener against Cincinnati.

Steelers 21, Panthers 10

Carolina went four and out on their first possession, kicking away to the special teams rookie running back Stefan Logan who promptly – he is so polite – brought it back for an 80-yard punt return. Fellow rookie running back Isaac Moore capped off his impressive preseason with a ten-yard touchdown run over three Panther defenders in the first quarter, ending the game with 79 yards rushing. The Panthers never seemed to connect on the field, and most of the excitement in Carolina this week seems to be around the sudden departure of owner Jerry Richardson’s sons from the organization.

Bears 26, Browns 23

Notable only due to Eric Mangini’s instance on starting QB Brett Ratliff instead of showing his hand and letting either Brady Quinn or Derek Anderson have any more playing time than the other before naming the Browns starting quarterback. At the team dinner after the game, Mangini was spotted telling Brady, “Derek can cut the slice of cake in half, but you get to pick,” and assuring Anderson he could have the window seat on the plane home since Quinn had it on the way out to Denver.

Ed Hochuli is already in regular season form… And haunting Roger Goodell’s nightmares

San Diego Chargers rookie free safety C.J. Spillman laid out Arizona wide receiver Early Doucet with what appeared to be a clean shoulder-then-helmet to shoulder pad hit, which was immediately ruled as unnecessary roughness.   Couple of plays later, Arizona quarterback Brian St. Pierre was called for intentional grounding approximately three minutes after he threw the ball out of bounds.

At this rate, Ed should look into to setting up a Twitter account to keep pace with his apologies if he continues calling games like this all season.

Ed Hochuli is already in regular season form.

While the local San Diego broadcasters and my eyes might disagree, Mr. Hochuli is ready to make the tough calls as he sees them. The ruling after Coach Ken Whisenhunt’s challenge of the fumble recovery by Chargers:

After the San Diego interception, there was a fumbled ball.  However #19 of Arizona had a foot out of bounds when he touched the loose ball inbounds.  That puts the ball out of bounds therefore San Diego maintains possession, first down.

It looked like Lance Long had re-established himself on the field before the recovery, but if Ed wants to give San Diego their make-up call during the preseason when it does not matter, who is going to argue with a man sporting two guns and willingness to write letters of apology.

Preseason Football – You know it goes down in value if you take it out of the box.

• No word if Wax Kurt Warner melted upon being exposed to the elements.
• Who are you again? Do I know you? QB Mike Reilly saw some decent playing time at the end of Pittsburgh’s 17-14 loss to the Redskins  to the excitement of Kalispell, MT natives everywhere.  (Namely, my living room.)
• The Chicago Bears crushed the New York Giants 17-3 in what I am convinced is part of a viral marketing campaign to steel Giants fans against the existential breakdown they will face after seeing Big Fan.

Preseason Flag Football – First Half

• 15 penalty flags were tossed onto a monsoon soaked FedEx Field during the first half of the Steelers-Redskins preseason game, doubling the umpires’ weekly laundry budget.
• Josh Cribbs continues to be one of the few bright spots on the Browns roster with an 84-yard punt return against, well, the Lions are not a UFL team.  Yet.
• On the other side of the ball, Matt Stafford threw a perfect INT on the Lions first possession of the game, making him a lock for the starting quarterback in Detroit.

Why I do not read (CNN) SI

Story Highlights:

36 words.

Actual story:

109 words.

Also, it is rather odd that the “Story Highlights” note the game is going to be held at Busch Stadium but the story does not.

SI Link

Housekeeping Announcement

Really.

If I was arty, I would call this “Lost Girl Alone on the Edge”

Rest of set, after the jump.

Almost Science: Chester Cheetah’s Big Balls – The Cheesiest?

They’re such big balls
And they’re dirty big balls
And he’s got big balls
And she’s got big balls
But we’ve got the biggest balls of them all!

Followers of my often over-sharing Twitter feed already know I’ve been obsessed with these giant cheese balls since they were unleashed on the public.  What a great concept! An even bigger ball of cheese!  I love balls of cheese! Doesn’t matter if they come in generic form from Rite Aid, if made with blue cheese and olives, or if they have the unappetizing word “curds” in their name.  Love them.

So you would link that Giant Cheetos would be a home run?

Not necessarily, and I have shaky math to back me up.

Almost Science: Always Infinity vs Peeps

People who follow my often TMI Twitter feed might remember a few months ago rash of updates comparing the sponginess of Always Infinity pads to marshmellow Peeps.   I even cut one open to examine what the mircle “Infinicel” material was like out of the wrapper and to check and see if it really was made up of ground up Peeps.

From the Always press release -

“In contrast to current cellulose core materials, Infinicel has an  integrated two-layer structure that removes fluid from the top of the pad
and transports it into the bottom layer, where it is distributed and stored. This allows the pad to continue absorbing fluid away from the
source for a lighter fluid mark on the pad surface.”

Of course,  I was not convinced.

Yes, I know I still should do a Super Bowl post

But instead, you are getting a recipe for one of my favorite Valentine’s Day recipes, You Won’t Be Single for Long Pasta.

This was passed on to me years ago, and I think there might be a similar Rachel Ray version out there.  Basically a vodka sauce, but with a better name.  And from my experience, much better than the ballyhoo’d “Engagement Chicken” recipe women love to pass around.

My little addition to what is on the recipe card?  When you toss in the basil add about four or five slices – torn into bite sized pieces -  of the best prosciutto you can get your hands on.  Don’t add too much, or you’ll over salt the dish.

If possible, use an Orecchiette or Cencioni pasta so you can get nice little pools of the sauce in each bite.

If you happen to buy extra prosciutto, go ahead and get some crusty bread, some fresh mozzerella balls, and fresh sage for a nice starting dish.  Slice the bread into bite site pieces, and stack with pieces of prosciutto, one sage leaf, and then half of a mozzerella ball.  Broil just to melt the cheese just a touch and serve.

And this year? I’m going to try this chocolate tart recipe from the Joy of Cooking.

All together, I hope this matches Bry’s Happy Valenpies Day.

Impromptu Friday Football Foodie – Biscuit & Muffin Additions

It’s hard to believe, but this is the last weekend that you can have a NFL brunch this season.  Next weekend, even if you live on the West Coast, 12pm is too late for brunch.  You’ll need something heavier,  greasier, and… Well.  Lunch-ier.

I love the Sunday football brunch and I am sad to see it leave us until next September.  Name another sport that allows you to wake up and start drinking and eating at 10AM? (Premiere League does not count, because who the fuck is going to wake up and cook at 4am for a 6am game. Exactly.  Footie is for going out and drinking at 6am and letting someone else put beans on toast and spots on dicks.)

So for the last Friday Football Foodie of the year – a Limited Edition year at that! – let’s go for one last breakfast.

Maple Bacon Biscuits and Ham, Cheese, Pepper, and Onion Biscuits.

You know who roots for San Diego?

Effing fairies.*

*Yes, I know I took those pictures in the 2006 loss to San Diego, but the only pictures I have from the 2005 trip to San Diego – which the Steelers won in the last seconds – are of Steelers fans. You know, because there are generally more of us than Charger fans when the two teams meet, no matter the location.

You can pick your team, you can pick your ass, but you can’t pick your team’s ass – “Throwgasms”

Download PDF here or click on image

There is something about spotting a trend, a pattern, or a theme. If you are anything like I am, you suddenly feel about twenty IQ points higher and think to yourself, “See! I totally could have been the guy who cleaned up on ‘Press Your Luck’! But I’d be smart enough to not to hand my winnings over to shady investment brokers! They only get my 401K! My winnings are all mineminemineminemine!” And as a Steelers fan, I love picking up on writers and broadcasters who I think are on “our side” based on their picks.

So while I was catching up on Big Daddy Drew’s Jamboroo posts on Deadspin, I realized he had selected the Steelers to be worth “Five Throwgasms” for the past three weeks. I wondered which team – according to a very arbitrary way of picking games which are the most watchable – came out on top. Being that my options today were to, 1) Do the work that ensures I get a paycheck, 2) Write the last twenty or so “Thank You” notes for our wedding gifts, 3) Make a giant spreadsheet and determine if the Steelers are indeed the most Throwgasm-ist team in the league, I decided to follow my hunch.

Now that this is over…

… I should be able to get back into the swing of writing again soon.

(And hopefully there is a better image of me and and the Steelers garter out there.  Hopefully.  This is not my best angle.)

The Original Friday Football Foodie – Hot Pizza Dip

Previously on PlayingtheField.net

Some weeks, you know it isn’t right.

You can feel it in your bones.  The mojo is off.  Saturn is in retrograde. The O-line folds like Chris Moneymaker’s professional poker playing career. Yep. It’s not a gonna be an easy Sunday.

And naturally, what do you do? How do you hide the nagging voice in your head telling you Bruce Arians has no idea what he’s doing with an offense? Well, you can bang your head on the wall continuously (as my boyfriend does), or you lose yourself in the food (like I do). Drown in the comfort of warm, cheese-infused, dip-friendly goodness. Ah. That’s more like it. What’s that you say? Nine sacks, intentional grounding, four QB runs? It’s all good when you’ve got a friend like–

This week – HOT PIZZA DIP

You will need…