Potatoes, onions, cheese, and pasta. So many carbs, oh my. Was worried about playing the Broncos, so dish is pictured with lucky IC Light and G&T.

Hometown cooking.  The luck that can come while preparing a regional dish should never be underestimated.  Live in Buffalo, you better be frying up some wings for um… Yes.  Tennessee.  Or for the press conference announcing Terrell Owens is leaving the team.  Good luck either way.  (Titans fans I imagine make BBQ squirrel or are still eating some leftover Terrible Towel humble pie.)

The Steelers having this week’s Monday Night Football stage gave me all day to make the most powerful lucky dish known to Western Pennsylvania (outside of Dan Bylsma’s lucky burrito); pierogies.  Pierogies may be one of the few dishes to be featured on both bar and church fundraiser menus alike around Pittsburgh.  There are dozens of filling options.  Different secrets on how to make the pasta part just right. Some people fry them.  Some people boil them.  Some boil and then sauté their pierogies.  (My preferred method making pierogies.) Served with sour cream or farmer’s cheese.  There are few things more Pittsburgh than pierogies.  Did I have a Polish or Russian Nana? No.  Did I still have pierogies for dinner at least every other week growing up?  Absolutely.

Why are pierogies a great football food?  Hearty and carb-y enough to soak up extra beer in your stomach.  If they’re fried they are just as good – if not better -  than any other bar food, i.e. a snack you can grab and stuff in your mouth without having to look away from the television.  They even look like little footballs if you squint hard enough.

You will need…

Does it get any simpler than this?

Dough:
4 1/2 cups flour, plus extra for kneading and rolling dough
1 teaspoon salt
2 large whole eggs
1 egg white
1 cup sour cream, plus extra to serve with the pierogi
4 tablespoons butter, melted
Butter and onions for sauteing
Garlic for sauteing (Optional)
Vegetable oil (Optional. This is a really sticky dough to kneed, so putting some oil on your hands helps keep form the dough without it all sticking to your hands. Helps keep the dough soft. No more than a couple of tablespoons.)

Potato, Cheese and Onion Filling:
4-5 medium-sized potatoes (Either red or Russet work nicely. You need a dry potato.)
8 ounces of shredded cheddar cheese (Some people prefer farmer’s cheese, cottage cheese, or American cheese. Since long time FFF readers know I love cheese, I like sharp cheddar so the cheese can stand up to the onions.)
1 medium sized onion
1 tablespoon butter
Ground pepper and salt to taste (No more than a teaspoon each. Cheese is salty enough.)

Last week a FFF reader Tweeted they had problems with sauteing onions. Low heat, stirring, and a vigilant eye is key. You cannot rush onions.

Peel and cut the potatoes like you would for mashed potatoes and then boil until soft all the way through.  Drain.  While the potatoes cook, dice one onion and sauté in butter until translucent.

Yes, I mash my potatoes with a pastry blender. I think it works much better than a masher, and it is much easier for me to handle.

Combine the drained potatoes, shredded cheese and onions.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.   Set aside to cool down and start on your dough.

My nail polish fan should know this week's color is Rosy Future by OPI. One of the things I miss about Pittsburgh is the salon I used to go to down on Fifth Street would be a great place to spy Steeler players getting manicure and pedicures each week.

I made my dough in two batches because this recipe makes approximately 10,000,000 pierogies, and I am just one person on a schedule.  Knowing that I only had a few hours before kickoff, the following pictures reflect just half of the dough.

Combine all the wet ingredients in one bowl (sour cream, eggs, egg white, melted butter), and your dry ingredients (salt, flour) in another bowl.  Slowly incorporate your wet with your dry, and kneed together.  As I said before, the dough will be very sticky, so coat your hands with about a tablespoon of vegetable oil.  Form into four equal sized balls.

Isn't Jenn Sterger missing these?

Maybe I’ll go over this more later, but as a women with naturally large breasts on a small body, nothing pisses me off more than women who get implants just to decide to remove them at a later date when they no longer fit their needs. Get bent, Jenn. Your fake tits had nothing to do with why you were not taken seriously as sports reporter.

Refrigerate the dough for about 20 minutes so it is easier to handle.

This is when you wish you had an army of Polish nanas to help you.

Now, there are two ways you can make each pierogi.  You can roll out your dough into one large sheet and then cut out a 2 – 4  inch round with a cookie cutter or biscuit cutter.  I think this can be rather time consuming down the road as you have to re-roll the dough scraps out several times, making it tougher each time.  I prefer to make a little log of dough about an 1 1/2 in diameter, cut off about 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch at a time and roll each piece out into a small oval, which is easier to fold over the potato mixture. Make a little ball of filling on each disc about 1 to 1 1/2 inch in size.

The pierogies will not all look this good. Don't worry about it, they will still taste awesome even if they end up looking a little weird.

Seal each pierogi by hand or with a fork.  If the dough is too dry, use a little water at the edges to help seal the edges completely.

Once your batch is done, refrigerate for about 30 minutes so they firm up before cooking.  The ones you are not going to eat right away can be frozen for later. (Pre-freeze for about 10 minutes on a cookie sheet so they don’t all stick together once you stick them in a freezer bag.)

Look! It's the Hall of Fame Non-Stick Pan! Its streak of being in almost every FFF continues!

Boil the pierogies in lightly salted water for about 6-8 minutes.  They will float when they’re ready!  While the pierogies are boiling, melt some butter in a pan and start to gently cook your onions over medium heat.

It should be noted that despite the strong pierogi mojo, the Great Pierogi Race has done little to help the Pirates.

Once the pierogies are done boiling, drain.  Add to the onions and add some fresh garlic.  Sauté until lightly browned.   Serve with a side of sour cream.

Stoli Gala Applik

Managed to pick up this giant bottle on sale The Oaks Gourmet this week. This might possibly be the best deal I've scored in months.

Stolichnaya’s new Gala Applik vodka might very well replace Stoli Blueberri as my favorite flavored vodka of all time.  Apple martinis made with most apple schnapps can be way too sweet.  Stoli’s new flavor means you can kiss that bottle of Pucker (and its neon green color) good-bye for a refreshing fall cocktail.  The apple taste is complex enough that it holds up well with cinnamon for a nice pie tasting drink.

Apple Pie White Russian
1 3/4 ounce of Stoli Gala Applik
1/2 ounce cinnamon schnapps, like Goldschlager
Top with milk or half and half
Dust with cinnamon

I Don’t Know What to Call This Cocktail
2 ounces of Stoli Gala Applik
3/4 ounce of cinnamon schnapps, like Goldschlager
Top with ginger ale

Both of these drinks would probably benefit from vanilla vodka, which I am unfortunately out of at the moment.  Gala Applik also works well with tonic water for an adult apple juice.

Pierogi recipe adapted from these three recipes:
Emeril, Food Network
All Recipes
About.com

Friday Football Foodie Pre-Announcement!

Look for a news about a Friday Football Foodie contest coming early next week!

She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts.

It feels like a million years since the last Steelers game.  Maybe even two million years.  And now after suffering through a bye week, we have to wait until Monday Night Football (Hooray Drunk Gruden!) for meaningful Pittsburgh football.  (Sorry Pitt-Syracuse, but the Orangemen’s 3-5 record does not make for compelling Big East football, if there is such a thing.)

I feel like I should be more worried about this game, and believe me I am plenty worried, but there just seems something so shallow about this 7-1 Broncos team.  Maybe I still do not believe Kyle Orton is anything but the guy who completely fell apart during a rainy Super Bowl XLI.  Maybe I’m not convinced that Josh McDaniels knows how to call more than three or four variations of the same play.  Maybe it’s because the Ravens beat them so soundly last weekend.  (Although now I am worried that the Ravens smackdown will give Denver extra motivation against the Steelers.)  My friend Colin has been trying to get me into some back and forth smack talk on Twitter this week leading up to the game, but I haven’t been really taking the bait.  Why?  While I am not worried-worried about the game, I am worried enough that I don’t want to jinx it.

This week’s Friday Football Foodie is French Onion Dip.  Oh sure, you can just take the packet of Lipton’s French Onion Soup, stir it into a 16 oz container of sour cream and call it a day. It’s not a bad dip, but it sure as hell is not a good one either.  (Also, because the Lipton dip is rather salty, you keep kind of going back for more and more and more and more and more AND OH MY GOD SARAH WILL STEP AWAY FROM THE DIP ALREADY!  THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE AT THIS HALLOWEEN PARTY.)

Making French Onion Dip from scratch allows the natural sweetness of the onion to come through, and pairs much better with vegetables.  This is also another one you want to make at least a day ahead of time to give all the flavors a chance to open up and develop.

You will need…

That large skillet seems to make it into about half of the Friday Football Foodie posts. If there was a FFF Hall of Fame, it would certainly be a first rounder.

1 tablespoons extra virgin (extra light if you have it) olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
2 yellow onions, sliced into 1/4-inch rings (Around 4 cups)
2 large shallots, sliced into 1/8-inch rings (Around 1/2 cup)
2 cups sour cream
1 cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon ground thyme
2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 teaspoon celery salt (If you don’t have celery salt, then you can skip it. But you should have celery salt around for Bloody Mary’s.)
2-3 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt (Depending on if you use salty bouillon cubes, you might want to reduce the salt here.)
1-2 teaspoons black ground pepper
2 cube beef bouillon cubes, dissolved into 1/2 cup water OR one 1/2 – 3/4 cup strong beef broth.  Pictured above the leftover broth I froze from the French Dip FFF. (Optional, if you are a vegetarian.)

(This makes a ton of dip by the way, so depending on how many people you expect for watching the games, you might want to half the recipe.)

Does anything smell better than cooking onions? Wait, what? My small amount Eastern European heritage is showing?

Heat up your olive oil and butter in a hot pan, reduce heat to medium-high and gently start to cook your onions down.   Depending on how strong you want your dip to taste, you can just cook them for a small while (about half size, around 15 minutes) for an strong onion taste or you can slowly caramelize them for about 30 minutes.  Stir often, and do not let any pieces blacken.

Shallots, like garlic, should be always cooked with care lest they turn sour on you. Speaking of sour, have you heard Ty Law might return to football as a Bronco if he can pass the physical?

Once your onions are reduced about half way, add the shallots.  Cook down completely with the onions.

Why do onions have to be so unphotogenic?

Once your onions have cooked down, either add your bouillon broth or beef stock.   Cook until all the water has evaporated.  Remove from the heat and allow to cool to room temperature.  Chop up the onions with a knife for easier dipping dynamics.

She may not look like much... Wait? I already used that to describe a bland photo this week? Dammit!

While cooking down the onions mixture, blend together sour cream, mayo, thyme, garlic powder, salt, pepper, celery salt and Worcestershire sauce.

Really, I swear it taste better than it looks.

Fold in the chopped onions and cover.  Refrigerate at least four or five hours, but preferably overnight. Give it a taste test before serving and adjust seasonings (more salt, more garlic, less awesomeness) if need be.

Serve with chips and crudités.

Green Tea Ginger Ale

No, I do not believe Tanqueray is a good gin for mixing. We have it in the house, but it is generally reserved for plain gin and tonics since the notes of juniper are so strong in their spirit.

I am completely, totally in love with Canada Dry’s Green Tea Ginger Ale.  Light, refreshing, and look! 100% of your daily recommended allowance of vitamin C! That will totally offset the calcium being leeched away from your bones by drinking carbonated beverages.

Ginger ale has always been a great mixer, and the green tea variant makes a nice mix with softer gins like traditional Bombay.  Where it really shines is when it is paired with Hendricks gin.  I love Hendricks, but rarely open the bottle because of their strict instructions to serve with cucumbers instead of lemon or limes.  (Mostly because lemon and limes are abundant in my front yard, while cucumbers are not.)

Two drink choices may be:

G&G – One part gin to three parts ginger ale.
Submarine -One part gin, two parts ginger ale and one part tonic water.

Or you could, just drink a can of it and not mix in booze.  It is that good.

French Onion Dip recipe is a mix of these three variations.

Also, the other week when I called out Spencer for not liking cheese, I completely forgot there was a “No Cheese – Happy Ircane?” tag out there from the old days on Ladies.  Consider it used, although I am sure with the Yankees World Series win cheese or the lack wherein is the last thing on his mind.

Ducks fans should be embarrassed I was able to get seats this close to the ice just hours before game time... AT THE BOX OFFICE.

Breathless.  Tyler Kennedy can fly.  Hiller heard me when I yelled, “It’s all your fault, Hiller!” after the fourth Penguin’s goal.  Guy next to me claimed to be friends with Talbot and was texting with him during the game.  Felt like there were more Pens fans at the Pond — sorry, Honda Center — than there were Ducks fans.

No sense in a recap.  One, you already know the score.  Two, you’ve probably already watched and rewatched and then watched again just to make sure you really saw what you saw when Fleury and then Crosby had the saves of the season (so far) at the end of the third period.  Three, The Pens Blog is where you go for recaps, not B&GT.

But if you want to check out the pics I took at the game, feel free to check out my flickr set.

Let’s hope undefeated on the road holds through the Kings game on Thursday.

Hearty Breakfast Enchilads to get you through a long day of football, or at least through your 10am games hangover.

Monster Mashup Day at Friday Football Foodie!  Vegas gave me a week of extra material, so instead of letting these sit around the archives getting stale, two-for-one recipe day for football brunches!  Plus, two recipes for means me having to type out fewer instructions! Go me!

Long time Friday Football Foodie readers know that I love the football brunch. NFL games start at 10 am!  College games at 9 am!  Premier League starts at… Fuck it! You’re probably still drunk from the night before for a 5:45 am start.  And full of In-N-Out!  Or House of Pies!  Or Fred 62!  Or Cafe 101!  Or Del Taco! Better yet, let’s go to a taco truck!  WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

You get the idea.

So like any good brunch, pre-game planning is the key.  In the past I’ve made Friday Football Foodie quiches, stratas, baked French toast and pear tarts.  What do they have in common with Breakfast Enchiladas and Cherry-Streusel Coffee Cake?  You have to make them the night before.  Sunday morning before a 10 am game, you want to wake up at 9 am at the earliest.  Maybe 9:30 if you need a shower. 9:50 if you still need to make fantasy football moves.  8 am? Forget it.  Did I not mention the 2 am taco truck visit?  The cake can be baked the night before, and the enchiladas need to rest before baking morning of the game.

See those those things in there? Those are cherries. Don't let anyone tell you you didn't eay anything healthy while watching football.

As always, you will need…

Breakfast Enchiladas

No Spencer this week, so the cheese is back baby!

Hopefully by now you know how to put stuff in a tortilla. Right down the lower middle for wrapping. Or like the joints you rolled in the '50's. Or '60's. Or '70's. Or '80's. Or '90's. Or last week.

Couple of tablespoons of ham, couple tablespoons of cheese, sprinkling of beans, chiles, and onion.   Roll up and place seem down in your 9X13 inch dish.

Don’t use all the cheese though.  Leave about a 1/4 cup of each to sprinkle on top of the tortillas during baking.

Beat together the half and half, eggs, pepper, salt, cumin and flour, then pour over your enchiladas.

Cover with foil and refrigerate overnight.

The next morning, preheat your oven to 350 degrees.   Bake covered for 30-40 minutes, depending on your oven and how cold your fridge is.  (I keep mine Minnesota-cold, so the enchiladas needed the extra ten minutes baking time.)

Speaking of cold, congrats to James Harrison for being named the AFC Defensive Player of the Month. Eight sacks in October.  I imagine that if this was bizarro world where he could play against the Steelers, it would have been 345 sacks.

Uncover the enchiladas, sprinkle on remaining cheese and bake for about 10 more minutes.

Serve with salsa and sour cream, as pictured above.

Cherry-Streusel Coffee Cake

Ok, cheese free but not dairy free. And sour cream is just cheese waiting to happen.

You will need -

1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for pan
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup sour cream
1 cup frozen cherries, thawed and drained well
1 cup streusel (see below)

Streusel, one of the best words in the German language.

Streusel is just soften butter cut together with brown sugar and cinnamon.  That’s it.  There is no such thing as a bad streusel.  Even if it might be bad, it’s still hard to tell because it is already so damn good.  You could mix in white sugar too, I guess, but I find it is just as easy to mix together 1 stick of soften butter, 1/2 cup – 1 cup brown sugar and couple of teaspoons of cinnamon.  (Really to taste.)

If you were to stop RIGHT THERE and just eat the streusel, I would not blame you.   As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure a straight streusel diet is how JaMarcus Russell got to where he is today.

Butter your pan, and then mix together all the ingredients that don’t involve streusel or cherries in a bowl. (FINE. If you want more details on how to put together the batter, follow the link at the bottom of the page. Mashups meaning leaving some of the details out! Danger Mouse told me so!)

Put 1/2 of the batter in your cake pan.  Now, I used an angel food cake pan, but any round or even a 9×9 pan will do.

Cherries! They should bring back the Cherry Bowl in the BCS. Nuts get a Bowl. Oranges get a Bowl. Motor City Bowl? I bet you could totally convince more people to go to Detroit if you mentioned cherries instead of Failed Industries Bowl.

Cover the batter with cherries and then fill with the remaining batter.   Sprinkle with streusel.

Baked streusel!

Bake at 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes.

Don't say it.

Once done flip the cake streusel-down onto a plate.  Glaze with a simple powdered sugar and milk frosting.  (About one cup powdered sugar to a couple of tablespoons of milk until it is… Drizzling consistency.)

Bonus Mashup Cocktails!

Okay, so it is just a screwdriver. But if you make it with pineapple vodka, call it phillips head screwdriver. Still much tastier than plain old vodka and OJ.

A twist on the classic screwdriver.  The sweetness of the pineapple helps offset the usual harsh taste of orange juice at brunch.  It also helps you forget you’re cheering for a losing team.

I’m in a fantasy football league with a bunch of other fun Pittsburgh sports fans, Pat from Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke/Fanhouse,  Mike from Kissing Suzy Kolber/Sporting News Blog/DC Steeler Nation,  Nic from Pittsburgh Sports and Mini-Ponies,  Cotter from One for the Other Thumb, Dan from Blog and Gold at the Post-Gazette, Bry, and Keith from various hockey… Hell with it.  I don’t even know where else Keith is wandering these days.   (They’re all over in the sidebar if you want to check them out.  Or follow our Twitter list feed!)

Anyway, I love our email threads almost more than the actual playing of the league (No, I am not losing!) just because it is the most relaxed group of fans just enjoying being fans around.  And for the smack talk about other teams.

For example,

Christmas Ape – http://content.usatoday.com/communities/thehuddle/post/2009/10/fix-for-terrible-towel-hex-titans-players-autograph-steelers-good-luck-charm/1

Keith – And if, by coincidence, they happen to suck less than Jacksonville this week, they can say it worked.

(They’ll suck more than Jacksonville.)

Me – Now, now.  No one sucks more than Jacksonville, unless your team has a QB named “Jake” or “Delhomme” on it.  Or might possibly for sale, no wait not for sale, okay maybe since a DeBartlo is interested for sale.  Or maybe a team with a fan base planning a protest for MNF.  (Two teams in this category in two weeks! Thanks NFL schedulers!)

Or the Rams.

I’m just saying I love those guys.  And that the Titans suck.

Wooo! The end!

Holy crap this post – like all mashups – has gone on way too long.

Halloween is this weekend, and if you want to mix up your brunch cocktails, try pumpkin spice liqueur in your White Russian in place of Kahlua.  Or even better, Captain Morgan, pumpkin spice liqueur and cream or milk.   If you’re not a fan of White Russians, spiced rum and pumpkin spiced anything go great just over ice.

Cherry-Streusel Cake – Martha Stewart.com

Basis of the Breakfast Enchiladas – Allrecipes.com

Full Flickr sets for Breakfast Enchiladas and Cherry-Streusel Cake.

Buffalo Chicken Meatballs. Cheese free if you skip the dipping portion, you goddamn hippie.

HEYS GUYS!  Did you hear?!?!  There is a some sort of sports blogging brouhaha going on out there!  Get the hell out you say? Sarah, are you talking about what everyone else is talking about this week?  Deadspin vs ESPN? No, how about Bleacher Report contributors ripping off stories left and right?  No, not that either?  Well about about various opinions on The Big Lead?  No! Not even that?  Then what the hell, lady?

Spencer Hall, a.k.a. Orson Swindle, does not like cheese.

No, I’m not fucking with you.  Does.  Not.  Like.  Cheese.  Thinks it’s stinky.

I was going to write this post (and a second bonus Friday Football Brunch Foodie post today or tomorrow) comparing the current sports blogging garment to the Anthony Bourdain verses Rachel Ray blog fights, but guess what? They like each other now!  Something about a fruit basket,  and Bourdain getting old and not being mad any more, which means he’s going to be like Sting post “Dream of the Blue Turtles” as he mellows out even further.  But my heart wasn’t into the comparison, and quite frankly, too many other people are talking about those blog discussions, so I figured I’d just start a fight of my own just to keep things fresh.  So I say it again:

SPENCER HALL DOES NOT LIKE CHEESE. HE TOLD ME SO.  IT IS COMPLETELY VETTED.

Now, this makes sense for a college football fan.  College football involves a lot of tailgating, drinking cheap beer and teenage boys, none of which are conducive to cheese.  You’re not going to serve a nice juicy, well-grilled burger with Cotswold with one hand and pump Natty Light out of a keg with the other hand, surrounded by kids who haven’t showered since Thursday before their Business Ethics 301 class.  At the TKE house, do you think they care about watching the game and serving a nice Mexican Fondue, a Hot Pizza Dip,  or a Four Cheese and Roasted Red Pepper Quiche? No, they heat up a can of Trader Joe’s Chili and dump leftover Chili Cheese (which do not in anyway taste cheesy) Fritos into a bowl, then serve it with Popov that may or may not have a cigarette butt floating in it from the night before.  No, no I do not believe Auburn fans would enjoy crostini with their football.

But everyone grows up sometime, Mr. Hall.  Palates change and mature, allowing us to enjoy all that is wonderful with cheese. Growing up and watching the NFL also allows us to watch football without having to get into discussions about scholarships and boosters, from hanging with kids who do not know how to drink without ralphing on their shoes, (another reason to stay away from cheese at a college football game I guess), and knowing I can enjoy watching a team be a team without worring about what the next recruiting class looks like. I want to just watch football and eat.  It does not get more sublime for a football fan than that.

So until you join us at the grown-ups table Spencer, I give you this Rachel Ray recipe for Buffalo Chicken Meatballs. No cheese involved, unless you want it to be. It’s cheap to make, so even a college kid – or a fan of teenagers – can make it any time.  In fact, you’ll save some more coin for your next game of quarters if you skip the cheese all together.

Did I find it as good as the Buffalo Chicken Dip of 2007?  No, I did not.  Why? Because it was not covered in cheese.   Your loss I suppose, cheese hater.

You will need…

I know he does not like cheese, but I have no idea what Spencer's stance on butter might be.

1 pound ground white meat chicken
1/2 small onion
2-3 cloves garlic
1/2 cup parsley
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2-3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2-3 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup hot sauce
3 scallions, green and white parts thinly sliced
Bleu cheese dressing for dipping
Celery sticks
Carrot sticks

If you do not have a chopper because you're still young and in college, a blender will also do. I would tell you chop it all by hand, but I don't trust you youngin's with a knife. That and I am worried the kids in he WAC will chop with some sort of buck knife.

Chop up your onion and your parsley.   (Best if you remove the stems from the parsley first.)  If all you have is dried parsley, just throw it out and just make the meatballs with just the onion and garlic.  Anthony Bourdain would tell you to do the same since dried parsley is tasteless.

See how much prettier it is with fresh parsley?

Mix your parsley, onion, garlic, salt and pepper, in a bowl.  Then add your ground chicken.  Combine well.

Ah ha! A pop quiz!

Of course some of the criticisms about Rachel Ray not knowing how to cool are not without merit. I got through the recipe and realized that a good meatball is going to need something else to hold it together.  So throw in about a half a cup of bread crumbs.

Even college kids keep olive oil around these days. United States of Arugula indeed.

Shape into golf ball sized balls.  Oh, you need to share with all 130,000 fans that also decided to show up for your World’s Largest Cocktail Party Red Shoot’em Up Tobacco Road Hate Week?  When then make them smaller to double the number of meatballs.  Kids never know when they’re being ripped off for smaller portions.  One of the greatest stories from my youth was when a Craig D. agreed to buy some just underagers a case of beer.  So he shows up with a 30 pack of Milwaukee’s Best and takes the kid’s $20 or whatever it was.  (See! Huge mark up right there! Pure profit for Craig! Dumb kids!)  He sets down the pack and proceeds to take out six beers.  Oh, you should have seen the looks on their faces as he pulled out those beers.

“But Craig, we paid for those.”

“No you didn’t.  You bought a case.  This is a 30 pack.  These are my beers.”  And then he walked away.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  You know when stories like that are funny? WHEN YOU’RE IN FUCKING COLLEGE AND HAVEN’T SEEN LIFE PAST YOUR DAMN DORM ROOM YET. AND YOU DON’T LIKE CHEESE.

(It should be noted that Craig is now a senior VP at a bank.  Figures.)

During the time it took me to tell that story, you should have preheated your oven to 400 degrees.

Bake for 10-15 minutes.  Until golden.

Melt the butter in a pan and mix in your hot sauce. Since you're in college you will probably add five tablespoons of Dave's Death by Heat Sauce on a dare. And you need to replace the taste of cheese.

Saute the balls in sauce (I heard that!) until well-coated, and serve with the bleu cheese dip and celery.

Black Russians, the cooler alternative to White Russians.

The one downside to cheese is sometimes your stomach does not feel so hot later on.  Or maybe you did drink too much Icehouse.  Or maybe you’re just getting old.   But you do not want to stop drinking, or you just want a nightcap, or maybe you’re just out of Tums.

This is where classic cocktails known as digestives are small miracles in a glass.  They will work through the cheese and they do offset the beer bloat. I don’t know how the magic of digestives work (someone from a cow college – the major, not the coeds – like Iowa might)  A traditional Black Russian is an amazing drink that can cure whatever is bothering your stomach.

5 parts vodka to two parts Kahlua over ice.  Amen.  Now pass the cheese.

Rachel Ray, Buffalo Chicken Meatballs

Yes, I know it’s broken.  Working on it.  Have no idea what happened here.

Chili Cheese Fries, plain Game Day Nachos, and Game Day Nachos with Pulled Pork at Lagesse's Stadium, located in The Palazzo, Las Vegas.

Woo boy, where to start.

Well, a big congrats to the crew at HHR Media Group for putting together a great set of panels for the “Blogs With Balls 2.0” in Las Vegas this past weekend.  No, I’m not entirely comfortable with the name and refer to it as BwB, just so it can be more inclusive, like “Blogs with Boobs” or something. Considering the amount of cheesecake photos that appear on sports sites to help drive traffic, it is not an unreasonable name. (More on this later.)

(If you find this all a bit too navel-gazily for your tastes, feel free to skip down to the bottom for the food review. No judgment.)

I have to admit, I was impressed with the majority of the discussions both in and around the conference, not only about sports writing, (I hate the term “blogging” since I’m in the camp that believes blogging is just another platform for delivering content and not a style of writing), about where media was going to go.  Some quick thoughts:

• It took until the late in last panel, Incorporating the Web Across Multi-platforms in Sports Media, for ESPN.com’s Editor-in-Chief Rob King to talk about how people are going to consume sports on their mobile phones, which obviously has been a huge conversation in the music world for quiet some time.  According to King, ESPN.com sees more mobile traffic on the weekends during football.  Not surprising considering overall web trends, but interesting to hear how they handle the weekend loads.
• ESPN.com’s strong presence at the event and meeting some of their online team made press releases like these a little less intimidating, at least for me. Their attendance reminded everyone that while they are the biggest player around, they are going to be looking at what the smaller guys are doing around the edges of fandom.
• (Especially when they hold screenings of the 30 for 30 documentaries at the ESPNZone for everyone to build buzz for their series.  It was lovely gesture that most of my entertainment writer friends take for granted.  Here’s the thing, I believe most of us have written about 30 for 30 anyway, just for the quality of the work.)
• In contrast, I thought the Sports Illustrated marketing team came off in the panel, Business Development: Building Your Brand & Growing Your Bottom Line, as a little bullying.  An off-handed comment about never having a women’s shoe ad on their site as never to offend their readers and their non-answer to Valli Hilaire’s (from a woman’s NASCAR site, The Fast and the Fabulous) about how she can better approach female brands that advertise in the racing community were more than enough for me to get my claws out.  When Phil from Gunaxin — a FHM style sports and guy site — asked about where the line is for “too racy” for the swimsuit issue and their advertisers, he too was given a no-answer answer.  They centered their panel around the big pitch that would get the attention of Nike, ignoring the idea that Nike might look for smaller tastemakers.  Looking for the big ad buy shouldn’t be what bloggers are looking for, they should be looking for niche marketers who want to get the most value for their ad dollars.
• While I like basketball and keep an eye on the Pistons for reasons that don’t even make sense now that it is twenty years later, I don’t really write about it often.  Hearing J.E. Skeets, Shoals, RedsArmy and Mitch Germann of the Sacramento Kings talk about how open David Stern is to online media made me more than a little jealous.  Not for the access, but knowing their voices are being respected by the league they love.
• One of the most touched on topics was social media policy.  If it wouldn’t be breaking a confidentiality agreement, I would post the one I wrote over the summer for my previous employer.  Funny enough, I believe most social media policies would be moot if companies just enforced the confidentiality agreements and non-disclosure clauses they probably already have.  And if people just used a little of bit of common sense on both sides.
• Outside of the panels, Matt Ufford said something along the lines that the problem with many online writers these days is that they want to be “discovered” very quickly and get frustrated when it does not happen right away.  He is right.  This also could be said about any writer working in any medium.  Mark Twain said the same thing more than a hundred years ago when he stated, “Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were intended for.”
• Greg Wyshynski of Puck Daddy is one of the coolest and smartest cats out there.  He also wisely called Dan Shanoff the ombudsman of the sports blogosphere.
• There was a missed opportunity during the State of Union panel.  Alana (Yard Barker, Former Miss Gossip) asked in a panel of all blog-affiliated writers what was the next step, how as a group could we all get together since everyone is friends and gets along fine, (accurate up to a point I suppose), to move together to get blogs on the same plane as mainstream media.  It sounded like she was looking for a manifesto or plan to come out of the room, since it was the one panel where it seemed the “grown-ups” were all away.  Jaime Mottram (Yahoo, Mr Irrelevant, kingmaker) remarked the answer was getting on TV, (which makes sense considering his Blog Show history), but I am not so sure television is going to move sports blogs forward.  No one else seemed to want to tackle the issue. (Edit – Alana is talking about this on her own site too.)
• (Personally, I believe the answer to Alana’s question is to stop the sports blogging talent diaspora, but my answer is that of someone who reads far more than they write. Trying to keep up with so many talented writers on topics I want to know about on twenty different large collaborative sites is exhaustive.  Now think about the casual reader.  Are they following writers from site to site?  What about the good writers who have been brought in to booster talent rosters of weaker sites? Are they going to wither and die?  What about writers who are known for their racier material? Will they burnout sooner rather than later having to work within more politically correct guidelines?)
• Dan Levy from On The DL podcast worked his ass off making the Ante Up for Africa poker event a success. He should be proud to announce that the night raised over $10,000 for relief efforts in Darfur.  Also, big thanks to Carbon Poker for helping out with the party at the Hard Rock.
• You haven’t lived until you see the Captain Morgan captain party all night.  Twice.
• Josh Zerkle of (Kissing Suzy Kolber, With Leather, WaPo Blog) could not be a nicer guy.  His buddy Brandon Moskal had me in tears I was laughing so hard at times.  Enrico Campitelli (The700Level) was a monster poker player and as intelligent of a fan as I have ever met. (Almost wanted to cheer for the Phillies on his behalf.  Almost.)  The guy behind Cleveland Frowns was not only an amazing sports better, but a funny guy in general.  (Both “ha ha” and “I will eat Shanoff’s brain for knowledge” types of funny.)
• I was glad to finally meet Janie.  Since Holly left LA, I’ll take seeing her when and where I can.  Wish they could have spent more time in Vegas with everyone.
• Seriously, I could go on and on like a teenager promising to write on the last day of camp.  (Cue the theme to Meatballs here.) I wish there was a list of all the writers who attended BWB, just so I could link to that and give my thoughts on each one, because I don’t think I would have a bad thing to say about any of them.

The real question really is what did it all mean for me?  It felt – and still does – silly when I have to introduce myself as “The Starter Wife” to people when I meet them for the first time, especially since the moniker has been in use for four or five years now.  I winced more than a few times when I said it.  Fortunately a few people said they liked my work, asked if I was still doing the recipes, and yes, said they liked the name.  The weekend reinforced a lot of what I already knew about my work in the sports world.  My personal blog has a limited audience appeal.  That’s okay with me.  There is still room for the web comic that I hope to be launching soon.  Do I still want to work for a larger site? Absolutely.   But is there still value in what I do here in my little corner of the internet? Abso-fucking-lutely.

(Did you sit through all 1500 words up there?  Impressive! Did you skip to the bottom for the food porn? I love you for your honesty.)

Crab Cakes with Fried Pickles, Fish and Chips, and Italian Sausage Arancini.

The food at Emeril Lagasse’s Stadium at the Palazzo sports book was all I thought it would be after reading Jack and Sarah’s review of it a few weeks ago on With Leather.  The Fish and Chips were crisp and made with excellent quality fish, unlike some places who try to over-batter lesser selections of seafood hoping you won’t notice you are eating more batter than meat.  I wished the arancini would have been larger, but again, great ingredients help sate even the biggest of appetites.  Holly and I stole all of Janie’s fried pickles (mostly because our love of them is one of the bedrocks of our friendship), but were a little disappointed that they were just thin pickles trying to be chips.

Stromboli, Burger with fries.

Hello, Stromboli! I saw about four of these bad boys inhaled in about ten minutes.   Best of both of our trips though was easily the pulled pork nachos.  Just thinking of the juicy, marinated, spicy, pork over chips, beans, and cheese is enough to pull me back into Stadium next time we’re in Vegas.

A few criticisms though. Even for the non-stadium seating there is a $25 food and drink minimum per person, per event.  Yikes. That is a tough one when you’re with a large group and not everyone wants to eat.  (Stadium area was $50.)  When we reserved the table, we were told we where getting at least two TVs that were ours to control. Unfortunately, their setup has two TVs per circuit, so when guests at other tables turned the channels on their televisions, they also turned the channels on ours.  That is a huge issue and one that almost sent us to leave before we got our slow to arrive cocktails when we were there for college football on Saturday.  So if you are going to watch for a large event, you are probably safe, but if you want to watch something smaller like University of Miami football, or the Stanley Cup winning Penguins, you are going to have a rough time of it on a busy Saturday.

Then again, when you such good food and good company you might not even pay attention to what is on the TV.  Even if you are a sports writer.

(Edited several times: Added Alana link, fixed spelling and grammatical errors.  Sure I missed some.)

I really cannot express how much I want a “Getting Ziggy With It” fan song to come out this season for defensive end Ziggy Hood.

Since you Garage Band junkies have yet to get back into the studio, let me point you in the direction of Cotter’s interview with Ziggy himself over at One for the Other Thumb for inspiration.

Na na na na na na na.

Living in LA, you have to pick a "Home of the French Dip" allegiance, Team Phillipe's or Team Cole's.

Week Five.  Welcome to the dog days of the NFL season.  Maybe it’s because we’re getting into the bye weeks, maybe it’s the start of the hockey and basketball season, and maybe it’s because we’re enjoying post-season baseball (Kidding! Baseball never ends! Pitchers and catchers report in 177 days! Only 21 days after the World Series!), but for some reason I always struggle with October football.  September sets up the storylines for the season, November and Decemeber are the buildup to the playoffs.  October is the grunt work.  The foundation.  The grinding out game after game after game after exciting match-ups Cleveland-Buffalo and Philadelphia-Oakland and San Francisco-Houston and ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The good news is this is time of the year when the outside of the game stories become more interesting, because they could possibly influence how players play the game.  Braylon Edwards gets into a fight outside of a Cleveland night club with a friend of Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James and is promptly traded to the Jets.  Crabtree finally ends his hold out.  Some old guy plays against his former team.  (Larry Foote.) And of course the big story percolating just under the surface, the possibility of a player lockout in 2011.

Everyone’s favorite pro Twitter Chad Ochocinco sat in a NFL Players Association meeting earlier this week, and judging by his Tweets, the union is telling its players to start saving their pennies now.  While this is not new news, his reaction caused a little bit of stir with ESPN’s Adam Schefter and New York Times’ Judy Battista.

Schefter weighed in -

Battista -

What’s my point and what the hell does this have to do with the Friday Football Foodie?

Both Battista and Schefter are complete dips.  Having worked with large staffs – both union and non-union -  for more than a decade in a few different fields, I can say with great certainty that many people have no idea what the terms of their employment are.  Does not matter if it is the janitor, the kid in the mailroom, a senior manager, or even a Vice President of Titles That Have No Weight, people do not know when their next payday is, how their extended benefits function, if they get Columbus Day off (and they will ask that question every year, even after being with a company for twelve years), how accrued time off works, how to approach their boss for a raise, and even what their current salary is.  Really.

Chad has been playing ball for the Cincinnati Bengals for going on eight years now, the only NFL team he has worked for since college.  While I am sure he has an understanding of the free agency market and player trades, it isn’t beyond reason for him to think the league would always take care of its players.  Teams – and by extension the league – act very paternalistic towards players when they’re playing.  Anyone in a long-term position can be lulled into thinking their job is always safe, and with the added camaraderie of being a part of one of the world’s most glorified sporting leagues, being locked out almost seems unthinkable.  Almost.

(Battista’s comment was especially galling to me since the newspaper world is unionized, and later in the day she Tweeted about tough days in the media world with the closure of Gourmet magazine.  By her standard for NFL players, anyone left at Conde Nast should have seen the layoffs coming years ago and left for safer ground.  I wonder if she has ever asked how much vacation time she has left in a year.  Schefter, as far as I can tell, has less of filter than Chad Ochocinco does.)

Okay, well that was a lot of words that could have been summed up as, “Hey, don’t judge.”

On to this week’s Friday Football Foodie! French Dip and Blood Orange Bourbon!

You will need…

Meat and beer? Doesn't get more football-y than that!

1 (2 pound) boneless beef roast (This is good for 4-6 people.  If have more people, you can buy a 4 lbs roast.)
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 beef bouillon cube or 1 can of beef broth.  (I prefer the low-salt broth.)
1 bay leaf
3 – 5 whole black peppercorns
1 teaspoon dried rosemary, crushed
1 teaspoon dried thyme, crushed
1 teaspoon garlic powder
Submarine sandwich style buns
1 cup dark beer (optional, but highly recommended)
Onion, or onion powder (optional)
Provolone or blue cheese (optional)

Use some sort of rump roast for French Dip. Top round or eye round. Avoid bottom round and tri-tip. I prefer eye round since it is the leanest cut of beef on the cow, and since it's going to be sitting in juices for six to eight hours, fat does not matter.

Remove any visible fat from the outside of your roast.

In a measuring cup, mix together your soy sauce, herbs, and beef stock together. Be sure to keep your bay leaf in once piece so you can remove it later.

Now, I used a slow cooker for my roast.  If you do not have a slow cooker you can also use a big stock pot, but you must must MUST keep it over the lowest heat you can on the stove top.

Meaty! I don't make beef at home very often (for the same reasons I don't let my husband buy Oreos when we go grocery shopping) so getting the roast started created quite a bit of excitement with both Bry and the dog.

Place your meat in the pot and add your marinade.

See how that bottle of beer is capped with a wine saver? Since I started the roast at 9 AM, I didn't want waste the remaining beer in the bottle. (9 AM being too early for porter, but just fine for brunch cocktails.) Surprisingly, the wine stopper worked.

Add the beer.

DO NOT LET ANYONE LIFT UP THE LID TO TAKE A SMELL. Because twenty smells later and you've lost all the heat in your pot.

Set to “low” and let cook for six to eight hours depending on the size of your roast.

Onion, in two forms. That is what I will call my MOMA exhibit.

So you can do what I did and just add a teaspoon of onion powder to your marinade.  Or if you like, you can cut up an onion and put it in the marinade.  Or you can leave out the onion, but caramelize the onion later to put on your sandwich.  (But guess what? Week Five means I am – as is everyone else – over making wildcat references this season.)

Steelers played the late game last Sunday so I had my roast in the pot by 9 AM so we could be ready to make sandwiches around 4:30 before kickoff, because I was not going to jinx the team by being late with food again. So really roast through the morning and afternoon games.  Or if you live on the east coast, it should be in the pot by Berman’s first throw to whatever sad remote feed they have Sal Paolantonio on.

Then you wait. And wait.

If you want to make a side dish, this is one of my old standbys. Cut up a bunch of new potatoes, purple and red too if you can get them. Unfortunately, the market was out so plain baby potatoes had to do.

About an hour before your meat is done, if you want an easy side (okay, not as easy as opening a bag of frozen tater tots) put in a 350 degree oven cut up new potatoes with a little bit of olive oil, whatever dried savory herbs you have on hand, and some salt and pepper.  Roast for 45 – 60 minutes.

Cheese! The bombing of the moon was not to look for water but to see if the moon was actually made of cheese!

Some people will want cheese, some will not.  Toast the cheese on a couple of buns for those who do.  You know who would want cheese?  Naked Casey Hampton.

Dinner time games! Yet again Pacific Standard Time is the much better time zone for football!

Once your meat is done, (you should be able to pull it apart easily) serve with a small bowl of the jus from your pot.   Dip dip dip dip away!

Blood Orange Bourbon

Powdered sugar people, nothing more.

I made the mistake of mentioning this cocktail on my Twitter feed (Hooray! More talk about Twitter!) last week and was talked into sharing the recipe early by several people who just could not wait.  So act like it’s new to you, TSW Twitter fans.

The original recipe for this cocktail calls for plain blood orange juice.  Since that is often difficult to find, we went for the sparkling blood orange juice they carry at my local market.

3 Tbls (Shot and a half) of blood orange juice
2 Tbls (1 shot) of bourbon
1 tsp of powdered sugar (Yes, powdered sugar. Everyone thought I had lost my mind when I didn’t say “simple syrup” here.)

Mix well in glass with ice. Drink. This is a nice cocktail for either a brunch game or an evening game aperitif.

French Dip adapted from All Recipes.com

Blood Orange Bourbon from the Better Homes and Garden’s Cookbook, Bridal Edition

Possibly one of my favorite Friday Football Foodies yet. Ham and Cheese Pretzel Bites with Jalapeño Honey Mustard.

Anyone who has followed the Friday Football Foodie over the last couple of years knows that I’m superstitious about having all our snacks and drinks ready to go for kickoff.  Something about my chi not being focused entirely on the game effecting the team chi (Steelers special teams can obviously be distracted by an undercooked pizza roll out there in the universe) and therefore increasing the odds of a loss.

Michael Tunison addresses this type of mental illness in his book, The Football Fan’s Manifesto.  (Which you should immediately run out and buy if you haven’t already done so.)  Tunison states:

“Once you discover your winning formula of OCD-esque ticks to perform before each game, you must never deviate from it.  Everything you do is part of a karmic and behavioral pattern that determines who wins on Sunday.  It’s your duty to your team to obsessively re-create the conditions of whatever happened during your team’s last win.  And not just on game day. It extends for the full week prior to game day.”

And thus explains why I wasn’t entirely happy with my pre-wedding weight-loss regime last fall.  Last season’s Hot Pizza Dip turned into the “lucky” game day food.  Bry would insist upon it almost every week, and despite its approximately 1500 calories per serving, I was powerless to resist it.  (Thank you mom for buying me a custom made wedding dress to accommodate me and the dip!)  After the wedding and going into the playoffs, we developed a “lucky” weekend routine. Friday, either the Bowery or Magnolia for burgers – depending on which had room at the bar, figuring the mojo was in the burger selection – and then racing into a movie at the Arclight, and Saturday night housemade sausages, Belgian fries and beers at Wurstküche.

By the Super Bowl, we could have been renamed Big Snack II and Big Snack III with our Casey Hampton-sized physiques.

Why do I bring this up?  Steelers have dropped two in a row.  Last week against the Bengals, the pretzel bites we’re still in the oven at kickoff.  (I woke up late, which DOES NOT WORK when you need to let dough rise multiple times.)  First strike.  The Football Fan’s Manifesto also states,

“The best solution is to just label other people in your personal life as bad luck.”

Our football-loving friend and house guest Jeremy was on the phone with our non-football loving friend Damon when the Bengals intercepted Roethlisberger and returned the ball for a touchdown.   Second strike, since Damon has been known to jinx sporting events before.   Third strike?  Just as the final seconds of the game ticked down and the Bengals were looking like they were not going to make the end zone – PLEASE HOLD ON FOR THE WIN! – Damon walked in our front door, sending my dog into a frenzy (Missy and Damon do not get along), and next thing I know I go to pull her away and WHAT??!? Wait?  Touchdown Cincinnati?!?  I DIDN’T EVEN SEE IT I WAS DISTRACTED BY DAMON, THE DOG AND MY CHI WAS ELSEWHERE WHAT HAVE WE DONE.  DISTRACTED AND DAMON?!?!? THAT’S LIKE SEVEN STRIKES AGAINST MY TEAM.

Or perhaps Limas Sweed should have not dropped the ball in the goddamn end zone.

This weeks Friday Football Foodie: Ham and Cheese Pretzel Bites with Beer Floats! You will need…

I really do need to work on my Photoshop and iPhoto "enhance photo" skills. The cheddar really is not that orange. No cheddar should ever be that orange.

1 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast
2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon packed light brown sugar, divided
1/4 cup warm water (110–115ºF)
1 cup warm milk (110–115ºF)
2 1/2 to 3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup finely chopped country ham (I just asked my local deli to cut me a 1/3 lb piece of Black Forrest ham.)
1/3 cup finely chopped sharp Cheddar
4 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 cup Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons finely chopped seeded fresh jalapeños
1 tablespoon mild honey
1/2 stick butter, melted (Preferably unsalted, but salted is fine. Who can keep two types of butter around other than cookie making season anyway?)
1 to 2 tablespoons pretzel salt or coarse salt

3/4 of large jalapeño chopped is about two tablespoons. Close enough. Use the rest for garnish.

Generally I am not a fan of jalapeños or mustard, but something about the honey makes this side for dipping irresistible.

If you want the mustard to stand up to the jalapeño, look for a Dijon with whole mustard seeds.

Combine the honey, jalapeños and mustard together.  Make the night before if you like.  (Hell, keep a batch around any time you have hard pretzels in the house for dipping.)

Mostly because I am a big dork, whenever I mix together sugar and yeast for bread, I like to yell, "SCIENCE" once the yeast starts eating the sugar and farting out gas bubbles.

Mix together yeast, 1 tsp brown sugar, and warm water in a large bowl and let stand until active. (About 5 to 8 minutes.)  In a second bowl, stir remaining 2 Tbsp brown sugar into warm milk until dissolved.

Small ball of dough. Wait for the magic.

Combine together the yeast mixture, the sugar milk, and 2 1/2 cups of flour with a spoon or a spatula.  If still too moist to form into a ball, add a little more flour (no more than a 1/2 of cup) into your dough.  (I ended up using a full 1/2 cup.)  Lightly  flour your hands and work into a small ball.  Place in a large, clean bowl and cover with plastic wrap.  Let sit for two hours to let the dough rise.

Yes this is more than 1/2 cup of ham and 1/3 cup of cheese. Since I always worry about having enough, there was plenty leftover ham and cheese to make a quiche with the next day.

While the dough is rising, finely chop the cheddar cheese and the ham.  Put in the fridge for use later.

Magic! More yeast farting has more than doubled our ball of dough!

Lightly flour your hands and work the dough into a ball.

If this was the current AFC North standings, the Steelers would be the sad looking small portion in the top right corner.

Divide your ball of dough into four pieces.

Some websites have sexy cheerleaders, sexy pole vaulters, sexy men in eye black. This picture is about as pornorific as it gets around Black and Gold Tchotchkes.

Stretch out the four pieces of dough into 12 inch rolls.

And this is where the porn ends. Unless you are some sort of pervert or Lars Von Trier.

Roll flat, so each piece is about 3 or 4 inches deep.

Ham and cheese and ham and cheese and ham and cheese and ham and cheese.

Leaving enough room to fold over the dough, divide the ham and cheese across each piece of dough.  Pinch together edges tightly to form a dough rope.

Looking at these now, I realize it wouldn't be that much work to make your own pizza rolls.

Cut each rope into 12 – 14 pieces.  If you cut it just right, you probably do not have to seal the ends of each piece.  Since I did not want to waste even a single molecule of cheddar, I sealed each bite by hand.  This is probably where I blew my clock management skills causing me to not finish the snacks until 10 minutes into the game.  Adjust your prep time accordingly.

Let the pretzels rest for about 30 minutes uncovered.  (They will rise even more during this time.)

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

In a large stock pot, boil about six cups of water and add your baking soda.  Reduce heat to a simmer, and cook the dough bites in the water for about 10-15 seconds a side.  (Until they puff up.)

Puffy! Good for pretzel dough, not good for vests.

Drain on a slotted spoon or a wok basket and place on a baking sheet.

Puffy! (Yes, I know I said that the last picture. Sometimes the Friday Football Foodie runs out of things to say but cannot edit out pictures for whatever reason. Maybe you do not know what puffed dough looks like?)

Bake in your 400 degree oven for 15-20 minutes, until golden.  While they bake, melt 2-4 tablespoons of butter.

Nail polish of the week for the hand stalker? "Call My Agent-A" from OPI.

Brush pretzel bites with melted butter.

Sprinkle with salt and serve!

According the recipe, once cooled you can freeze the pretzel bites for later use.  Impossible.  The entire batch didn’t last until halftime.

Beer floats!

Over the summer, we went to the LA Beer Float Showdown at the Blue Palms down the hill from us.  (Rumor has it that the Blue Palms turns into a Steelers bar on Sundays, but since we already spend about $2300 on the NFL Sunday Ticket, I tend to prefer staying at home to watch the games.)

Since it was 92 degrees in Hollywood last weekend, I figured a beer float showdown of our own was in order.  One of my favorite floats from showdown was the St. Bernardus Abt 12 with a toffee ice cream.  I wondered how a chocolate toffee would taste with dark beers, so I set out to make my own mix of ice cream for one of the selections the night before.  (Since apparently chocolate toffee ice cream only exists in my imagination.)

Like you've never taken a meat tenderizer to a frozen Heath bar and then mixed into with a pint of ice cream.

Since ours was a simple throw down, we pitted chocolate toffee ice cream against vanilla toffee ice cream, Guinness against  Stone Brewery Smoked Porter.

No losers here, only winners.

Hands down favorite with the crowd?  Ben and Jerry’s Vanilla Toffee Ice Cream with the Smoked Porter, which possibly was the only thing that got us through three quarters of a boring Colts-Cardinals Sunday night blowout before Curb Your Enthusiasm came on.

As for the lucky routine?  Well, Bry and I went to Magnolia last Friday night for dinner before a movie at the Arclight.  Last time we go for the steak sandwich instead of the burger.

Country Ham and Cheddar Pretzel Bites with Jalapeño Mustard – October 2009 Gourmet Magazine, Chef Edward Lee